The Ask King Swede Thread

[swede]

Here is your exclusive chance to ask your king anything... may it be personal about him, or whether your looking for further knowledge in a given area where swedey can help you out... or even if you are going through a rough patch and want to know how you can over come your troubles.. anything and everything people... your king is here for you!

so ask the king anything u would like to, and he will get back with a response asap.

your king

- the swede ;)

[talz0r]

How old are you?

-and-

Are you a scruncher or a folder?............ or perhaps none? ewww! :D

[Hinny]

Let's say there is a heaven and this guy at the Pearly gates who welcomes people. What would he say to you?

[lozzy]

you're quick with your responses huh swedey? :p

ummm..... what is the meaning of life??

[milko]

how many jellybeans can u fit in your mouth at once?

[swede]

ok.. talz.. i am 21, and i think im a half half kinda person.

hinny.. he would say... Welcome supersexyswede! we have been awaiting your arrival, but we are pleased that you had lived such a long and prosperous life... please do come in and enjoy your staty

lozzy... the meaning of life is reproduction... all about sex and reproduction.

milko... there are plenty of jellybeans that could fit, id say there would be no less than 20 that would fit

[Hinny]

You said you liked licorice. What the hell is wrong with you?

[swede]

well it all goes down to having a swedish/finnish background where i was grown up to believe that licorice is the greatest form of lollie out there.. and preferably if it is of the salted variety

[da_lozmeister]

swedey...where do babies come from? *innocent child look*

[swede]

deary...

*sits loz down*

ok babies come from your mothers womb... cause when a man and a woman... "connect" they connect in more ways than one, and well, then they become mummys and daddys and have a little baby

[da_lozmeister]

but how swedey?.....how do they get into mummys womb?....do they climb in?.....whats a womb anyway?.....

SWEDEY NO EXPLAIN TO ME!!!!! :'( *throws tantrum*

[swede]

ok well mummy and daddy have a thing called sexual intercourse... where... daddy will ejaculate sperm into mummy that will travel to mummy's eggs... which will fertilise and will then make a little little tiny tiny baby that will grow and grow within mummy's belly until it is big enough to come out!

[Hinny]

Bollocks. They get delivered by this big bird called a stork.

[swede]

hinny... you have a crazy mind my friend

[da_lozmeister]

*wails* I'M CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

[Hinny]

When in doubt, listen to Hinny.

[swede]

hinny is an arseclown.. dont listen to him

anyway more questions?

[Hinny]

If you could be invisible but only when nobody's looking at you, would it be worth having this power?

[swede]

i believe it wouldnt be, unless of course you are someone who doesnt like looking at themselves in the mirror... then of course it could be quite handy

[Hinny]

What is Michael Jackson's problem?

[swede]

he has an acute case of roll me over and call me britney disease. he has lost all ability to understand the world the way a normal person would, and will forever keep the stigma that is wacko jacko

[Hinny]

One last one before I retire to the bed.

Liverpool is playing Juve tomorrow morning. What's your tip?

[swede]

that is a hard one, but ill say that juve will win. score? ill give a score of 2-0...

thankyou for your time hinny

[cirrol]

swede, oh wise one...
will it rain today?

[Euphoria]

Hahaha, Oh swedey this is a cute thread!!
Okay let us seeeee...
In your opinion, New Zealand: Really that bad a place? :D

[swede]

cereal.. it will not rain today

Yoof! well, to be honest, no, australians actually comment on how gorgeous it is, but it is pride that keeps them to saying how dreadful it is. most derogatory comments are in jest, and are all in good fun :)

more questions?

[surething]

why u changed to "the Angels king" and who is the Angel ?

[surething]

oh and have u carmed down after Sundays Psycho postin ????? LOL

[Hinny]

I speak for swede when he's not around.

http://missyhiggins.org/vb/member.php?u=277

[surething]

oh my. whats he been up to while i've been away ? he he

[wilsyxo]

i got a few questions....
-If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
-What am i meant to do if i see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
-Why isn't there ever the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"
-Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? and lastly
-Do fish get cramps after eating?.....:) glad 2 hear if anyones got any answers

[angelblue]

Hi surething, you will notice that swede changed me to be the King's Angel so i thought i better go right ahead and change him to the Angel's King... yes i am the Angel ;)

[Fredina]

Umm why do guys wolf whistle as they drive past? do they actually think we are gonna run after them?

[angelblue]

LOL Fredina! I hate that, especially old guys who are staring at you out of trucks or something!

[swede]

ok first... surething uve got ur answers and i have calmed down... im actually a tad frightened to go back to TAB board...

-If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? it is naked... home is where the heart is
-What am i meant to do if i see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? let it rock on, survival of the fittest
-Why isn't there ever the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery" -- psychics are just there to take your money, they are all phoneys
-Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? its because of the germs that come after uve wiped down
-Do fish get cramps after eating?..... fish wont get cramps

and fredina.. they dont do it because they want u to come after them... but more for something to do and have a chuckle about with mates... and sometimes they are doing because they admire the beauty.

glad to be of service

[cirrol]

Oh wise swedey... Tell me what the answer is to my question. *thinks really hard of a question* do unicorns really exist in magical faerie gardens?

[swede]

faerie as in fairy? if so, then unicorns exist in those gardens... as unicorns as everyone knows... are not real... magic... is not real.... so both can exist together in a made up reality, mainly for the use of tv and childrens stories to make a lot of money :)

[Tribal_Drummer]

swede... is it normal to have purple spots on my balls?

oh, & also i was wondering about the 3 eyes of my penis...

[swede]

well, that is an interesting question... because one time when i was trecking through the mountain ranges of the ganglions, well, this one man came up to me enquiring about these very questions, so i have had a lot of time to do my research so i could come to an informed conclusion...

the purple spots come from a thing called *poko disease* they will in time... fade.. fade away. so they should be of no concern. how poko disease arrives? well it is unknown, like a lot of medical conditions, but as long as we have a name for it, that will do.

now the 3 eyes is an interesting one, and when they guy asked me about this, i was bamboozled.. yes i looked something like this ----> :eek: but alas, being the wise-all knowing i couldnt let him know i had no clue. but alas, through research and testing, those 3 eyes will infact be there for an eternity, never leaving you, but at least you can be special and say you have a 3 eyed trouser snake... that will surely have the ladies wanting to take a peek mate!

but alas, they are not too normal... but dont fret, all will be good

[Tribal_Drummer]

thank you all mighty swede, i will now be able to sleep at night.

woooooo

[swede]

no problems at all mr tribal!

anyother questions that need to be answered?

[cirrol]

Oh wise swedey... will you give me $1400 for a needy cause ;)

[swede]

no, no i cant do that. but what i can do is, is let you know how u can get 1400 dollars

what you can do is this... start up a *save the swede foundation* now this will kickstart a couple of things, people will think... OUR KING NEEDS OUR HELP and also.. all these protectionists will throw money at you thinking you are saving some endangered animal. so, you will get some donations from this, then when you get these donations, see how much you get, then you put out a flier, saying that research needed to save the swede will cost *insert extra needed amount here* to a rich bastard like kerry packer or something of the like, he wont have time and would be scared of publicity, he will accept and send you his petty cash and you will be well on your way and flying off to NZ.

you're welcome :)

[cirrol]

Haha! good idea swedey! thanks! :D

[swede]

not a problem.. just remember... they i have the copyright to "save the swede foundation" name, so it will be a fee that will be issued when you use it. thankyou for your time

any other questions?

[James]

swede, whats the meaning of life??? :confused:

[swede]

james mate... ive answered this already

"the meaning of life is reproduction... all about sex and reproduction."

[Hinny]

The meaning of life is clearly 42

[swede]

the meaning of life is what i have stated.

id like more questions :)

[Hinny]

If a talking baby who looks about 8 months old crawled up to you and pointed this high-techy ray gun thing at you and threatened to turn you into a pile of space dust, how would you respond?

[swede]

If a talking baby who looks about 8 months old crawled up to you and pointed this high-techy ray gun thing at you and threatened to turn you into a pile of space dust, how would you respond?

well, id throw the baby across the room, and slam its ray gun outta its hand... afterwards doing a moon walk and say, hows about that for space dust sucka *then do the jacko spin* then say to him "that was like taking a ray gun from a baby" and chuckle to self...

[angelblue]

HAHAHAHA, hinny i think you watch too much family guy! But i don't blame you, its a bloody good show.

[surething]

ok swedester, i got one

SYSTEM ! the track "snowblind" where is it from coz it anit on the 3 albums i got
and on the song, hummm how can i explain, u know the comical funny voice bit, in between the den den den den bit. what does he say ?
somfink like crocay or cookie or cocaine!

so u got all weekend coz I'm going at 11:30 and not back till monday (belly dancin)

but i WANT ANSWERS Young man ;)

[swede]

ok, snowblind is most probably a new song, personally the king hasnt got it... he will get his hands on it asap and attend to ur services :)

[mandalina]

How many members of Pearl Jam does it take to screw in a lightbulb??




haha! Have you heard that interview??

[swede]

ill explain this one to you step by step.. and i have not heard any interview

ok.. it starts off with matt throwin the bulb up to someone (there automatically lies 2 people) first to catch it is stone.. he starts doin his little duck waddle but soon his the zone... mike comes in WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH does a spinnin kick and stone loses the bulb... jeff skates through *catches it* throws it up to end and ed hits the trance... **jeff has reached my heart.. in thinnnnnnn air... but dammit! off he goeeees** so who has gotta do it then? ME its always ME! ed reaches up... but BOOM! next thing you know he has been knocked off his socks.. and boom grabs the bulb and screws it in... and responds with a..

HA fuckers! and im not in the band... u guys cant even screw in a light bulb!

so in answering your question, there needs 5 pearl jam members and an extra :) but.. alas none actually can screw it in.. so in effect there are none :)

[mandalina]

hahahahaha!


Needless to say, that was pretty effectively how I imagined it :D

[swede]

glad that i enlightened you with my wisdom dear mandalina :)

[surething]

i dont think it is coz i've had it a while (downloaded) and when they played it everyone knew it, i'll will send it u later in the week and u can figue it out, ok ?

[swede]

i dont think it is coz i've had it a while (downloaded) and when they played it everyone knew it, i'll will send it u later in the week and u can figue it out, ok ?

DO IT!

did ya like my story?

[surething]

i cant now, i need to go and iam sick !,

light bulb story was great :D

[swede]

hehe RAWWWWK! haha

cheers v!

come back with more questions when u can :) haha

GET WELL!!!

[surething]

thanks babe hopefully i'll see u 2morrow (hay sexy painters comin round Monday ;) )

[James]

james mate... ive answered this already

"the meaning of life is reproduction... all about sex and reproduction."


kool, ill spread the word to mi religious teacher now, and all of mi freinds.

[swede]

again, my services are open to all

[Nicky Noo]

Question:

How are you so knowledgable??

Please let me know

(i need to know where to go to get some)!!! LOL

[cirrol]

Oh wisest of the wise, aka swedey-boy:
Can i have $358 please? Or could you point me in the direction of someone who would kindly donate such funds?

[what]

(i need to know where to go to get some)

noo. you dirty child. and cereal! GET A JOB!!!!!

[Nicky Noo]

noo. you dirty child. and cereal! GET A JOB!!!!!
You have such a dirty mind, what!!!!

[lozzy]

You have such a dirty mind, what!!!!
because she's a whore!!! :rolleyes: :D

[swede]

Noo, wisdom is something that was blessed upon me from the dippimagoori tin tin clan. now this is not something you can find, but u merely are ultra fortunate to receive such a great gift

Cereal, i cannot give you that money, but where you should start looking is through gaining access to a job, and from that, save your money and do not spend it :)

:)

king swede always here to help

[Nicky Noo]

Noo, wisdom is something that was blessed upon me from the dippimagoori tin tin clan. now this is not something you can find, but u merely are ultra fortunate to receive such a great gift

Cereal, i cannot give you that money, but where you should start looking is through gaining access to a job, and from that, save your money and do not spend it :)

:)

king swede always here to help
King Swede - Do you think I would ever be able to meet this **dippimagoori tin tin clan** & see if they would teach me the wisdom that they taught you!!! LOL

[swede]

not a chance at all noo, i cant reveal their location because that would be betraying their trust.

so, thus far ur wisdom wasnt meant to be, but maybe if you keep hoping, they may visit you. they have said they will keep me posted if they are going to contact someone so i can warn them.

- king swede

[lozzy]

not a chance at all noo, i cant reveal their location because that would be betraying their trust.

so, thus far ur wisdom wasnt meant to be, but maybe if you keep hoping, they may visit you. they have said they will keep me posted if they are going to contact someone so i can warn them.

- king swede
it's ok swede, i really don't mind paying noo a visit :D

[swede]

lozzy... hun... just because u are much the wise as i am, u shouldnt pretend that u are the dippimagoori tin tin clan, now they may get upset with us! but alas, if you are her messenger... ;)

hehe :)

[lozzy]

swede....hun....it's ok.....i don't mind my identity being revealed....really :)

[swede]

lozzy, my dear queen, ur being silly... **calms lozzy down**

hun, u do remember they do not even walk on earth, you do m'dear.. ok hun? *kisses loz*

there better, now lets just drop this for now :)

[lozzy]

fine swede....i understand.... *ok we'll keep it a secret wink*

[lozzy]

oh all knowing king swede...

why is it that whenever i go out i always end up drinking white sambucca (and i quite like it) even though i hate, and i mean HATE licorice??

[what]

oh all knowing king swede...

why is it that whenever i go out i always end up drinking white sambucca (and i quite like it) even though i hate, and i mean HATE licorice??
i can answer this one. it's cos your a WHORE and you r00ted the chick behind the bar so that you could get free alcohol.

[lozzy]

hmmmm.....if i rooted the chick behind the bar to get free alcohol, wouldn't i have asked for something i liked? but then i like white sambucca....why is that?

[swede]

oh all knowing king swede...

why is it that whenever i go out i always end up drinking white sambucca (and i quite like it) even though i hate, and i mean HATE licorice??

because generally you are drunk, and therefore your tastebuds have mellowed out and the taste is more tolerable. in addition to this, i think you like the name sambucca whether it is on an conscious or unconscious level, so when your drunk and at the bar, it is the first drink that u feel like saying. so after ordering that, whether by mistake or not, you feel the need to drink it.

also if you root the chick behind the bar for free alcohol, you will take what you can get, as u are after free alcohol, not a free drink, whereas if you rooted the chick behind the bar for a particular drink then you would surely get that.

[lozzy]

why thank you oh wise one :)

[swede]

no worries my dear queen, nething for you :)

[Puck0]

why o' why am i so bendy?

[swede]

cause you just werent made right! LOL!

in the words of the wise ol' ones "blame the red"

[:: katie b ::]

swedey poo - why is it that you are having an affair with so many people on this forum? :eek:

[da_lozmeister]

ur cheating on me swede?!

[da_lozmeister]

oh king swedey...WHO CHANGED MY SUBNAME THING?!?!?!?!

[swede]

katie_b... well... im not having an affair as such ;)

and daloz.. ur my secret lover are you not?

[da_lozmeister]

yes....but i think kaj changed me to the forum nympho....

[swede]

not a prob, ur still my secret loverrrrrrrrrr haha

[da_lozmeister]

but its more secret if its not my subname......lol

[:: katie b ::]

swede - why is it u r not online at present? now is the time katie needs you :(

[swede]

the answer to that katie is simple... he was unavailable at the present time. if he knew that u needed him, then he would have been around for u :)

[:: katie b ::]

oh god bless :)

and why is it swedey that i cannot find a job at present? :o

[swede]

it is because u arent searching hard enough, because u want a job that u think u will kinda like.. when you realise u probably wont like any job at all you will end up finding one and taking it. :)

[jademonty]

he swede :) *waves*...okleys...well my q is...why do kamacarsi pilots wear helmets?

[swede]

hey jade!

well that is an interesting question... and a good one at that.

ok well u see, these pilots really have a deepseated desire to live, but they feel forced to do these things for the "greater good" they think, ok well the best chance of me surviving will include wearing a helmet.

Also, these pilots may need their skulls intact at death for some religeous beliefs and what not, or merely do not like the idea of their brain being splattered, so again, a helmet is needed :)

[jademonty]

thanks swede :)
ok new q.....hhmmm How do invisible people see each other?

[swede]

this one is a lot easier than the previous..

they wear clothes when they wanna be seen ;) cha cha cha

oh and as for seeing physical form.. they cant m'dear

[Kaj]

yes....but i think kaj changed me to the forum nympho....

such unfounded accusations! *huffs*

[da_lozmeister]

AH but they are true....are they not!?

forum sex slave fits soooo much better!

[swede]

i am open to more questions if need be

[da_lozmeister]

king swedey....why oh why do i have to get the flu 10 days before i go to france? and also during my final week of assessments for college?

[swede]

it is murpheys law... if something can go wrong, it will go wrong.. thats it if im not mistaken...

and well, also, the flu may be a response to the stress of exams, the stress levels affect your immune system, you must have come into contact with someone who passed it onto you. very unfortunate but you will get through it and be stoked in france no matter what :)

[thatgirlmichelle]

I have a question. Why do people always pull out in front of me when I'm driving? Every day it happens to me. I swear they're all out to kill me.

[swede]

no, ive been told that is the culture of tasmanian drivers.

another reason for this, is that they may perceive you to be driving slower than you actually are, so they may have sensory input problems in perceiving motion.

also, you shouldnt get caught up in the number of times it happens, think about less, and you will not take not of it happening so much

[thatgirlmichelle]

Actually you may have a point about the Tasmanian drivers thing.

Why thank you.

[maiizhigh]

wow *is in awe*
swede knows all :D

[swede]

:) no problems people, keep the questions coming :)

[da_lozmeister]

oh swede....why oh why do you have to be so wise

[swede]

well, that is answered through my upbringing...

and being swedish of course.

[Kels]

swede, how do i know if a person is really interested in me, or just wanting sex?

[lozzy]

swede, how do i know if a person is really interested in me, or just wanting sex?
deny them sex (i know it's hard...) and see if they hang around?

[swede]

lozzy is quite wise, that is one method

another that is in line with that, say that u have found christ as your saviour and that you no longer believe in sex before marriage, you have had to confess to your sins and that you will no longer participate in sexual activity until you are married... (now this may be drastic but if he is into the sex, he will be out of the door before uve finished the sentence)

but again, lozzy's one is fine :)

[da_lozmeister]

hahahahaah love the advice! keep it comin swede...

oh all high and mighty king swede....how do i know if my friends r really my true friends or if they r jst using me as a way to get something they want? and swedey...how can i cheer myself up and de-stress.....me not emotionally fantastic right now

[swede]

well here are ur answers, sorry i missed this earlier

the first thing u ask yourself, is what would they want of yours? if you have money, or things that they always wanna borrow and what not, then u may need to think about it, otherwise the question is already answered for you. If u need to think about it, then think about whether they have come to you in their time of need, or they have been there for you, is so, id say they are true friends. think about whether they have been loyal to you also. if u need further clarification let me know

also, u can cheer up in a number of ways, a funny movie, chatting to people, listening to funny music etc. also, u can cheer urself up by thinking, if this is the worst thing that ever happens to you, then ur having a killer life, think of those who have it harder, and then be grateful for the wonderful opportunities u have.

to destress, there are a number of things. one thing is to have an alcoholic drink, dont have more than say 1 or 2, u dont wanna be boozing up, just something to relax the system. also, i can give more help when i know what the stress is about, and give you adequate coping methods :) i hope these help you out

[da_lozmeister]

hahaha yeah thanks king swede. I've been using the alcohol one. 1 drink when im really stressed....but its prob the whole fact that im with the girls bitchin bout everything that really makes me feel better but i like thinking its the alcohol. lol!

[swede]

well its good that u have taken matters into your own hands, also bitching can be a good way of letting things out, it is cathartic, but it can also end up being detrimental, so watch ur step :)

[da_lozmeister]

bitchin....lettin everything thats on my mind out.....same thing....its never about people. jst about things in general

[swede]

ok, well, i think that should be alright, even if about people, definitely fits the catharsis theory. ur gonna get through it well by the sounds of things

any more questions? :)

[whiskey]

swedey, do you think that I should believe my ex who says they still love me even though they are seeing someone else? I really think it is true but I don't see how they can, they dumped me for their current partner. I love my ex so much... but I don't know what do to. Help me!

[swede]

swedey, do you think that I should believe my ex who says they still love me even though they are seeing someone else? I really think it is true but I don't see how they can, they dumped me for their current partner. I love my ex so much... but I don't know what do to. Help me!

well first, is this person male or female, i need to get in their mind

[whiskey]

well umm... female... but I'm not all that bendy usually. I got drunk at a party and she had liked me for ages and we made out and she guilted me into dating her... and then I fell for her after we broke up. I have perfect timing no?

[swede]

well umm... female... but I'm not all that bendy usually. I got drunk at a party and she had liked me for ages and we made out and she guilted me into dating her... and then I fell for her after we broke up. I have perfect timing no?

well that makes things more difficult...

ok here goes.

first u got to consider whether she is a slut bag. and im being honest, no matter how much u like em, u know if they sleep around. - this is to get at what she is really thinking

2. i have a feeling u like her after the breakup cause u liked having someone, that is gone, cant have it, bam u want it. its not so much u want her more than the concept and idea of her. if you let it pass you will skip a lot of crap on the way. u may be hurt for a bit at least it wont drag on for months on end.

[whiskey]

well that makes things more difficult...

ok here goes.

first u got to consider whether she is a slut bag. and im being honest, no matter how much u like em, u know if they sleep around. - this is to get at what she is really thinking

2. i have a feeling u like her after the breakup cause u liked having someone, that is gone, cant have it, bam u want it. its not so much u want her more than the concept and idea of her. if you let it pass you will skip a lot of crap on the way. u may be hurt for a bit at least it wont drag on for months on end.
see? you're so enlightened, it is true. The hard bit is seeing her at school everday... I go to an all girls catholic private school and she is ironically in my religion class... lol. thanks for the advice... I have another question:
baby who would come more than a mile to put a rose in withered cheeks that hide no smile?

[swede]

see? you're so enlightened, it is true. The hard bit is seeing her at school everday... I go to an all girls catholic private school and she is ironically in my religion class... lol. thanks for the advice... I have another question:
baby who would come more than a mile to put a rose in withered cheeks that hide no smile?

can u please rephrase that question....

and also, i am very enlightened. im the advice master

[whiskey]

can u please rephrase that question....

I can't rephrase Missy! That is sacrilege! But i can ask you another question:

what kind of makeup should I wear to this party on Friday night? my ex will be there and I want to look good. Can you answer makeup questions o swedey boy?

[swede]

no what is sacrilege is u telling the king u cant rephrase something...

and i can answer make up questions, but first i would need to see ur face so i know what you should have done to it :)

[whiskey]

lol now I have to post a photo right? I'll post that one of me on the ferry last year...

http://img107.echo.cx/img107/3933/moi4ip.jpg

ha!

now make me over Swedey boy.

[swede]

hard to do with the sunnies... how can i know what eye liner im meant to use? and eye shadows.

no but to be honest, but i dont know what other people are like, i would say minimum make up, keep it simple. over doing it makes u seem like a maniquin barbie doll, u dont want that kinda stuff happening to ya. at the risk of being a cheyne, u got some natural beauty happening there, u should show it off.

also, i dont think y ou should be dressing to impress ur ex too much, i smell trouble in that area, but if you do... tread cautiously and make sure ur the one having fun and dont get hurt! yes, that is correct. :)

[whiskey]

oh well there you go... I'll take your advice. and I'm wearing some stupid dress i've already worn like 100 times so I'm not really going to impress her in it. Sadly. nevermind, who needs her anyway. thank you kindly for your advice, I remain your loyal servant.

[swede]

no worries at all, again, i told you i can answer anything. also im glad you can wear the same clothing over and over, it shows strong character, good on you.

more questions?

[:: katie b ::]

t-man....after enjoying a relaxing holiday away with my friends, i have actually come to realise some of them really shit me.

now, i understand that spending a long time with a person, 24/7, can get quite overwhelming etc, and u start to get agitated with ppl etc...but.....this time....i was very annoyed. whilst most of my mates are generous and loving, offering to buy me alcohol and clean the house and do the washing up, or buy some groceries for the house etc.....this one particulat gentlmen sat on his ass the whole 6 days and did fuck all. then he ran out of money on the 2nd last nite, and what ticked me OFF was that he used his last $10 on the pokies, thikning he mite win some more etc.

now t-man, am i being unreasonable and naggy? or is he just being plain rude?

katie xox

[swede]

well dear katie, it appears that this gentleman is tighter than a ducks butt, or tighter than a nun's ****
anyway, i know i have been known to say "im going to the bank" and i go to the tab... but if i lose it i get money out of the atm afterwards. now this person should have done the same. also when you are away you should try to help each other out, and not proceed with the social loafing that he did. i think thats very poor form. he would be joking about it to others later no doubt which i find irritating.

so no its not naggy or unreasonable, he was being a rude person.

- kind swede :)

[lozzy]

too many new posts to read

swede. how do you play king of beers?

[swede]

to dear lozzy, this is an answer that will be laid out in front of you in both the msn chat and on the piss up night, here is where patience is your friend and in time you have your answer

you are welcome

- king swede :)

[lozzy]

ok new question.

swede why are you so lazy?

[swede]

well it goes back through the decade to when i was about 10.. no i kid.

anyway im lazy at the moment cause im tired and should be sleeping, also because im scared of realising what my potential is, incase it is something that is poor.

[Nicky Noo]

KING SWEDE!!! Which bank do u suggest I rob to get the money to come to Sydney......????

[whiskey]

oh yes and whose ID can I borrow so I can come too?

[lozzy]

KING SWEDE!!! Which bank do u suggest I rob to get the money to come to Sydney......????
the one closest to your house. you will save on petrol.

[swede]

the one closest to your house. you will save on petrol.

that is quite a good answer there. because really any bank will be good enough, so it doesnt matter and loz here has pointed out a very logical response. plus the closer to home, the less likely they are to find you :)

[swede]

oh yes and whose ID can I borrow so I can come too?

you have to ask around, there are people who have fake id's everywhere. personally i never used them so i dont have a contact. also, im in no way going to condone using fake id's that could get me into trouble.

furthermore, there will be more piss-ups, so be patient :)

[Nicky Noo]

you have to ask around, there are people who have fake id's everywhere. personally i never used them so i dont have a contact. also, im in no way going to condone using fake id's that could get me into trouble.

furthermore, there will be more piss-ups, so be patient :)
thank you king swede.

if there are to be more, i might just make it to the next one. (next yr????)

[thatgirlmichelle]

King Swede, why are reality TV shows taking over? I want some good shows to watch :(.

[lozzy]

thank you king swede.

if there are to be more, i might just make it to the next one. (next yr????)
october maybe. when missy tours again. if she does. :D

[swede]

King Swede, why are reality TV shows taking over? I want some good shows to watch :(.

they arent taking over as such, just a fad that will hang around. the reason why they are there is because they are marketable right now, much like 80's hair metal, 90's grunge, and seemingly 00's "indie" rock and singer/songwriters. There will always be an element of reality tv from here on in, people are interested in other people, its that simple. Other tv shows will make a comeback... when? that is uncertain for the moment.

[surething]

When will i see JBT again ????? and why didn't u warn me they would have that effect !!!

[whiskey]

is red lipstick hot or not? state reasons why or why not. if not, suggest a better colour. perios.

[Puck0]

bright red lip stick is fucking HOT on a light skinned consistant complection.
oh yeh.. brody dalle from the distillers represent mmm

not hot on ugly people.

[whiskey]

bright red lip stick is fucking HOT on a light skinned consistant complection.

fantastic, I'm the palest person you're ever likely to see! Red lipstick it is then, who needs Swede anyway? :P

[da_lozmeister]

OMG!!!!! don't let king swede hear u say that!!!!!

[Puck0]

hahahahaha.

[whiskey]

no, that is my new question: King Swede, who needs you?

[swede]

When will i see JBT again ????? and why didn't u warn me they would have that effect !!!

i did tell you this, it would have been a more massive effect if you saw them a couple years ago... and you will see them on their next tour. :)

[swede]

no, that is my new question: King Swede, who needs you?

well i was going to answer your previous question, but you are no blacklisted from this thread. i had hopes for you, but not anymore. You know, you need me more than anyone, because we can see how misguided you are with such comments, if i was your psychologist you would be referred to a psychiatrist so you could receive drugs to help you with your issues.

as for other people, everyone needs me, im their king, and they love it. plus i give handy advice.

that answers your question, now please leave this thread :)

[whiskey]

oh your highness, I meant not to insult thy honour, I meant merely to ask who needed you, I thought the 'besides me' was implied! IMPLIED! O mighty one, please do not black-list me from thy thread, not I, I who needs your guidance more than any other on this earth/forum, I am so lowly and unworthy of thou, and thou art so just and wise, oh swede, answer one more question: has my grovelling worked? art thou prepared to let me stay? Please answer affirmatively o Swedish King of Kings!

[swede]

no, ur grovelling has not worked, because you added lies, you mentioned it twice, lying gets you no where with this king. that is a fact. for the first time in a while... im... speechless...

i would not try to hard to get back into this thread, trying too hard will only set you back further. and you received such good advice from me... the king... im quite disappointed

[whiskey]

*hangs head in real shame this time* okay mr swede sir, I'll make myself scarce... *hides*

[swede]

whiskey... whiskey... whiskey... you got a lot of learning to do, under my wing you may become a star.... but first... dont put that *hides* there... and i wouldnt say the following words "w00t, ****, perios" etc. but yes, i can teach you, i really can, want to become a student? its a once in a life-time offer

[surething]

so king swedeO if u could have ANYTHING in the world for your Birthday, i mean Anything, What would it be ?

[whiskey]

whiskey... whiskey... whiskey... you got a lot of learning to do, under my wing you may become a star.... but first... dont put that *hides* there... and i wouldnt say the following words "w00t, ****, perios" etc. but yes, i can teach you, i really can, want to become a student? its a once in a life-time offer
yes yes yes teach me all! See, I didn't even put any actions in this post, I'm already learning.

[whiskey]

oh and also, Swede, do you have any idea who may have changed my custom title? I was wondering what it is that I am in, and why I'm proclaiming it so exultantly... ;)

[swede]

so king swedeO if u could have ANYTHING in the world for your Birthday, i mean Anything, What would it be ?

an around the world plane ticket :)

[Puck0]

gross.
whisky is sacrificing individuality to be swedes **** knuckle.

[Puck0]

uckfay atthay uskywhay untcay offway. esshay away itshay eadhay.
eshay itsshay allway ofway usway offway aboutway asway uchmay
asway uckinfay igpay atinlay itsshay offway ymay eacherstay.

[Cheyne]

King Swedeee My master! Look into your crystall ball and tell me who i will hook up withhh at the Sydney meet :p! *cheeky grin*

[angelblue]

Swedey wants me for his birthday LOL

*thinks about a question*......

[Cheyne]

Swedey wants me for his birthday LOL

*thinks about a question*......

Ohh dangg! I was going to layby u forr mine :p!!

[angelblue]

LMFAO i can be shared.

[angelblue]

OK Swede.... should you or Cheyney have me for birthday?

[swede]

King Swedeee My master! Look into your crystall ball and tell me who i will hook up withhh at the Sydney meet :p! *cheeky grin*

cheyne... some randon bird at a bar, because i will tell u to tune her and she will fall for you

[swede]

OK Swede.... should you or Cheyney have me for birthday?

well, u know im the king... ;)

and cheyne mate.. ur only my apprentice.. what can i say?

[angelblue]

Maybe he should watch to learn from the master ;) LMFAO

[swede]

LOL! ya damn skippy! :)!

but hey blue, u can go to cheynes... but... it will be like my birthday was around twice ;) HAHA WOOOOO ;) haha

[whiskey]

gross.
whisky is sacrificing individuality to be swedes **** knuckle.
now that's not true, I never had individuality...

[lozzy]

now that's not true, I never had individuality...
another thing you probably shouldn't have admitted.... and once again it is too late to take back...

[whiskey]

lol, at least I don't deny my faults... (that wasn't meant to imply that other people don't, it was just a statement)

[surething]

well look at that u were RIGHT ! :D they are playin hammersimth London october 20th :D and that will be sweet coz i use to pull pints there :)i did tell you this, it would have been a more massive effect if you saw them a couple years ago... and you will see them on their next tour. :)

[surething]

Just make sure it stops in the UK so i can give u ur Real Birthday pressent ;)an around the world plane ticket :)

[swede]

stokedness hhahaha

u know ill visit the uk if i get the chance :)

[bri]

Possibly the only thing our King doesn't know is how to unsticky a sticky :D

[surething]

What time is it when fuzzy bear needs a hair cut ???

[swede]

Possibly the only thing our King doesn't know is how to unsticky a sticky :D

you know, i know how to do it, but if i didnt make it sticky, im unable to unsticky it :) hehe u funny bugger

and V, there is no specific time, it depends when there is too much growth and becomes a total mess. u dont have to make fuzzy bear completely bald or nething such as that, a bit of hair can be quite good and quite good for fuzzy bear, but you dont want fuzzy bear to overheat or anything so make sure you keep fuzzy bear trim.

hope that helps you out

more questions?

[The Beekeeper]

first of all.... whiskey - never ever take make up advice from swede although he did quite a good job... i think red lipstick can be hot if worn with minimum eye makeup and if you are pale go for one with an orange base....however, it has to be lined with a nude lip liner. do not attempt to use a matching colour.... also, red lipstick is very high maintenance so think of the occasion and whether you want to be fussing around with this

ok, now that i've got that out of my system.....
swede - if you were a woman for a day, how would you spend it??
and swede, why wont you admit that it's me and only me that you truly want??

[Puck0]

first of all.... whiskey - never ever take make up advice from swede although he did quite a good job... i think red lipstick can be hot if worn with minimum eye makeup and if you are pale go for one with an orange base....however, it has to be lined with a nude lip liner. do not attempt to use a matching colour.... also, red lipstick is very high maintenance so think of the occasion and whether you want to be fussing around with this

the fuck? this is why i dont wear make up

[Puck0]

Oh Swede why are you not a mod?

[surething]

OOOOoo well done you got the correct answer :D and know more then i realised!!!

now .... What goes Up, but never go's In ????


you know, i know how to do it, but if i didnt make it sticky, im unable to unsticky it :) hehe u funny bugger

and V, there is no specific time, it depends when there is too much growth and becomes a total mess. u dont have to make fuzzy bear completely bald or nething such as that, a bit of hair can be quite good and quite good for fuzzy bear, but you dont want fuzzy bear to overheat or anything so make sure you keep fuzzy bear trim.

hope that helps you out

more questions?

[:: katie b ::]

dear tomas t,

why o' why did i pay $20 covercharge to go to some druggo club last night?

[what]

cos ur a druggo. twas where u belong.

[what]

now .... What goes Up, but never go's In ????



really?!!? do i?!@

[swede]

first of all.... whiskey - never ever take make up advice from swede although he did quite a good job... i think red lipstick can be hot if worn with minimum eye makeup and if you are pale go for one with an orange base....however, it has to be lined with a nude lip liner. do not attempt to use a matching colour.... also, red lipstick is very high maintenance so think of the occasion and whether you want to be fussing around with this

ok, now that i've got that out of my system.....
swede - if you were a woman for a day, how would you spend it??
and swede, why wont you admit that it's me and only me that you truly want??

dear katie, when you admit to urself that im the guru and that everyone should listen to me, then ill be prepared to answer these questions :)

[swede]

Oh Swede why are you not a mod?

there is an answer to this question floating about, all i will do is throughout time guide you to ur path of truth :)

[swede]

OOOOoo well done you got the correct answer :D and know more then i realised!!!

now .... What goes Up, but never go's In ????




ill get back to you with this question

[swede]

dear tomas t,

why o' why did i pay $20 covercharge to go to some druggo club last night?

you felt the need to go to it cause it was a birthday thing :)

[Hinny]

Dear viking man:
Is it just me or are Roger Waters and Richard Gere really the same person?
http://www.nrk.no/img/412137.jpeghttp://adorocinema.cidadeinternet.com.br/personalidades/atores/richard-gere/richard-gere03.jpg

[swede]

holy shit balls mate... that is a striking resemblance.... and yes almost too striking!!!!!!!!

damn thats nuts

but they are indeed different people, but you could almost argue they are long lost twins!!!

[kerrysan]

oh king swede.. what is a role?????

I'LL TELL YOU!

role Audio pronunciation of "role" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rl)
n.

1. also rôle A character or part played by a performer.
2. The characteristic and expected social behavior of an individual.
3. A function or position. See Synonyms at function.
4. Linguistics. The function of a word or construction, as in a sentence.

[Puck0]

ur being lame.

[The Beekeeper]

swede is the guru...and everyone should listen to him!!!

[swede]

"if you were a woman for a day, how would you spend it??
and swede, why wont you admit that it's me and only me that you truly want??"

it would depend if i still had my mind or not...
and kate, im sorry, but it isnt you that i truely want, im board married already ;)

[Puck0]

everyone should also listen to puck, not like i needa say that, people just agree with me anyway.

[Cheyne]

everyone should also listen to puck, not like i needa say that, people just agree with me anyway.

I dont always agree with u dear Puck but I respect you :)!

@-)-)-
xx

[swede]

this may turn into something ugly, so please this argument has ended already before it starts, :)

[Puck0]

I dont always agree with u dear Puck but I respect you :)!

@-)-)-
xx
u big lez

[swede]

u big lez

LMAO thats funny

[Cheyne]

u big lez

lmao, u love it.

[The Beekeeper]

ok... well that answers my question - you arent going to admit it any time soon ;)

[swede]

lol that is fine for you to believe such things bee m'dear

[surething]

now .... What goes Up, but never go's In ????




auhhh ahum, I'm still waiting !!!! :rolleyes:

[swede]

i think that these questions are silly. well the ones from miss V.... LOL!

[swede]

ok kate, in answering ur question then

what would i do? well, i would check this body out, and i would woo some stunning lesbian female to test the body out, show me the ropes, as im a heterosexual male in a females body! i would never be able to go after a bloke. what else would i do? i would explore haha like any bloke would. i have no idea.

but yes its late and im lost for further words as of now

[surething]

i think that these questions are silly. well the ones from miss V.... LOL!


Sour grapes bcoz u didn't know the answer !!!


for everyone else the answer to "what go's up but never go's in" is "the steps to my house !!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

[da_lozmeister]

oh king swede....whats with this forum gettin awfully silly whilst i am not here?

[swede]

oh king swede....whats with this forum gettin awfully silly whilst i am not here?

its just growing with numbers, and with that there will be no doubt an increase of sillyness... enjoy

[Puck0]

http://img107.echo.cx/img107/3933/moi4ip.jpg


whiskey

[swede]

bring on the questions

[JOLENE]

i have the hots for someone on this forum .. whatever shall i do? :D

[swede]

well, that will depend upon a number of factors, therefore id need more information before i give out my super duper advice ;)

[JOLENE]

naah just kidding, just wanted to ask a question so you had something to answer lol

but i do think cheyne is super hot

[swede]

lol ok, well, come to the next piss up... just take a flight over and ull be there to meet him ;) lol!

[JOLENE]

ok i'll just take a flight over .. simple as that! ;)

[bri]

Why does beer cost so damn much in Sweden

[swede]

Why does beer cost so damn much in Sweden

the taxes are massive, it really sucks. thats why swede's will often travel down to germany, stock their car up with alcohol and drive home, and yes, that does save them money.

[surething]

What is Ezekiel 4:9 bread ? and where can i get it ???

[Puck0]

lmfao
the bible. lol
EZIKIEL! 29 THE PATH OF THE RIGHTIOUS MAN

[JOLENE]

so how come everyone has a thing under their name that says they are somebody's secret lover or babe? Can I put Cheyne's Kiwi Chick on mine? LOL

[JOLENE]

hey who did that? that was way quick
really it should say Cheyne's Stalker Chick .. scare him away why don't ya! LOL

[swede]

to surething - its been answered

to jolene... he is my understudy, he will not be frightened away, he will take it as a compliment, maybe enlarge his ego a lil, but hey, thats cool. also a lot of people are "lozzy's secret lover" cause she made it that way, hey, she just loves it :)

[surething]

No !!! i was asking about a type of bread, i want to know what it's made from ??? it's suposed to be good for my blood group ! :rolleyes:

[swede]

its a bread that u already know the name of, so there is no need for me to repeat it. you feel the need to ask these questions as you want to try n get me to make mistakes, not gonna happen :)

[Puck0]

oi swede u smart mouthed fuck!
HOW MANY HOLES ON A FUCKING CRUMPET?!

[swede]

it varies on the make of the crumpet.

[Puck0]

fine...
well i would like to know how many holes are on a tip top square crumpet.

[swede]

they vary also, no individual crumpet has the same number of holes. but i have seen one with 48 holes in it before

[Hinny]

Have you ever heard a variation of the "why did the chicken cross the road" joke that made you laugh? If so, what was it?

[swede]

no, i havent had one that truely made me laugh, but if u have one be sure to let me know :)

[bri]

why did the pervert cross the road-- coz his dick was stuck in the chicken

best I could come up with sorry

[swede]

well man... that put a smile on my face hahaha and a small chuckle. i guess thats pretty solid effort lol!

[maiizhigh]

dearest king swede, why is it that i cant sleep?

[swede]

that could be attributed to a number of factors... id need to know details surrounding ur current lifestyle n such before i could answer effectively. things such as current life events, what you are doing, living arrangements, how comfortable you are with ur current situation, medication or drugs u may be taking, and that kind of thing

[what]

take some pills

[JOLENE]

Why has noone told me how beautiful I am in the pic thread :( oooh boo hoo everyone's speechless

and why is my name always shown on line when i have logged out? I just can't seem to leave this place

[lozzy]

i didn't see your pic.

[JOLENE]

i only put it on this arvo, just impatient lol
not sure that it even works! :D

[what]

i only put it on this arvo, just impatient lol
not sure that it even works! :D
it works. i just didnt say anything for fear of being labelled a lesbian by my fellow cool crew viewers. they are a vicious bunch.

[:: katie b ::]

:)

[what]

:)
quiet you